Overcoming Itty Bitty

Friday morning on my way to work, I was overcome with joy and gratitude to be living in Portland. The trees were dressed in an array of beautiful fall colors gracefully posing against a backdrop of mist-covered mountains. This incredible sight reminded me of how, at the beginning of the year, I had decided to be more thankful and present in the moment so I wouldn’t miss out on everyday gifts like this.

Over a year ago, on a group motorcycle trip, I had an enlightening conversation with Karl and a good friend of ours, Chris. The three of us were mic’d up. As we rode, Chris introduced Karl and me to the Itty, Bitty, Shitty Committee. The Itty, Bitty, Shitty Committee, which I’ll just call Itty Bitty, is that negative voice in your head that tells you how terrible you are and reminds you of all of your shortcomings, whether real or imagined. Since that day, whenever we get together with Chris, we continue where we left off, sharing our progress in trying to rein in Itty Bitty and change its message.

I cherish these conversations. I really do believe that I have the ability to change the way I think and the messages I tell myself. This past year, rather than making some grandiose New Year’s resolutions to change my life, I made some smaller choices that have had a huge impact on my self-confidence and quality of life, and have lessened Itty Bitty’s hold. Here's what I did:

I became more thankful - For Christmas 2017, my dear friend Kristan gave me a journal that was labeled “Gratitude Journal”. Starting January 1, I’ve written in this journal every day, jotting down things that I’m grateful for. Some days my list is short and I’m thankful for my cozy bed, coffee, and Karl...other days, I go into incredible detail about things that happened during the day. Regardless of what kind of day I’ve had or mood I’m in, being thankful always lifts my spirits and shifts my focus to how good life is.

I started loving myself more - I believe everyone can stand to love themselves more! I came across one of Louise Hay’s books on affirmations and decided to write my own affirmations that I could tell myself throughout the day as well as whenever I was in specific situations. To do this, I thought about my own insecurities and fears so I could tailor the affirmations to my demons. For example, when I get nervous and anxious, it usually has to do with me feeling vulnerable or exposed. So, for these situations, I came up with the affirmation, “I am safe.” And when I feel jealous of someone, it is usually because Itty Bitty is telling me that I’m not good enough or important. So for these situations, I tell myself that I am worthy, valuable, beautiful, or precious.

I began deep breathing - I noticed that I have a specific physical response to fear. I hold my stomach in tight...not in the “tighten up those stomach muscles” sort of way...but rather like you might clench your jaw or fists when you are under stress. So, in addition to watching out for Itty Bitty’s words of hate, I look out for my “tell.” And as soon as I notice the clenching, I breathe in deeply and let out the air slowly, pushing out my stomach as far as it will go. I went a step further and started doing this deep breathing while telling myself that I am safe. Instant relaxation! 

If you have specific things you do to counteract your Itty Bitty, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to email me, fill in my questionnaire, or add a public comment below.